aren't we sick yet of missing out on life?

My blog post failed, so check out this Katie's instead:

"Francis Chan wrote, 'How we live our days, is how we live our lives.' I had to read it several times as I let it soak in. Because it is true. So often we find ourselves waiting for a specific moment, a specific call, something special. For what? How we spend our days... that will be our LIFE. Because today could be it. If Jesus came back today and said, 'Let's go!' would we be ready? Would we be doing what we want to be doing when we meet Jesus? People say to me often, 'You are so lucky that you found your calling, that you know your purpose in life.' This statement boggles my mind. I AM so blessed to live the life that I do. But it isn't rocket science. God did NOT part the sky and shout out to me, 'Katie! Serve my people.' I read it in His word. You can too. We can all see as plain as day that Jesus says the number one commandment is to love the Lord and love your neighbor. I happened to move to Uganda and love those neighbors, but that is not the point. As believers, we should already KNOW our calling; it is to love the Lord and love our neighbors by caring for them in whatever broken state they are in. When He said that 'the poor will always be among us' I don't think he meant that as an excuse not to worry about it but as a reminder that there is ALWAYS a neighbor, no matter where we are, in a worse condition than we are. I can only believe that God created us to make this world a little better. That he designed us in love to show that love to others. I just don't know what everyone is waiting for."

Read the rest of her post HERE.

time together isn't ever quite enough

I apologize for the lack of "real" posts lately. Life has been nuts, and I must confess: the blog has been low on my priority list. But now that my fever and cluster headaches have ceased (still looking for that homework cure), I promise stories will be up soon.

Love!

the end is here

We're home! Our month's worth of medical junk is over. Cluster headaches are still happening, but now they will be happening in my own bed. "Real" writing hopefully to come soon.

In the meantime, at the end of this post are two verses I saw, am working on memorizing, and wanted to share in case anyone else needs these words constantly running through their mind. "I'm not just looking to memorize.... I'm looking to change. Scripture memory alone will just make you arrogant. Lapping up those Scriptures like they are the only spring in your desert will make you different. "

"I have resolved that my mouth will not sin."

- Psalm 17:3b

"Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips."
- Psalm 141:3

the end is near

Our medical "vacation" is nearing the four week mark, and thankfully, an end. Mom and I plan to sleep in our own beds Wednesday night and could not be happier to be back with the rest of the family.

To update, tonight will be the 36th evening of cluster headaches. Our goal was to complete twenty treatments up here; in a few days we will have completed what we set out to do, but unfortunately the treatments have not affected my body. We'll be heading home regardless and will continue praying for relief from the pain.

I realize y'all have been praying for a long time, and I can't thank you enough for consistently loving on our family. It's been a hard year, and I'm in tears simply writing this post. In the good and the bad, our God is still faithful.

More to come later this week. I'm beginning to appreciate the little joy that comes from not sharing internet access with a hotel full of people....

Love you guys!

time in between

I wanted to post a super quick update for my readers, all six of you (hey, Grandma!), with a little explanation of what's happening.

Most of y'all know how difficult the past few weeks in particular have been. Currently, cluster headache episodes begin around 5 P.M. each day and last, on average, until about 11:45 A.M. the next morning. On Sunday, my mom and I left town on a medical-emergency-trip because, after so many rounds of clusters this year, my health has been declining rapidly. I say all of this to justify a severe lack of "real" blog posts since, well, I started this site and especially lately. The last few days, all blogging attempts have been limited to post-it notes in doctors' waiting rooms and transferred via hotel internet in small amounts at a time (so as not to upset my BFF Nick, who totally just waved from the front desk).

Tonight will mark the sixteenth consecutive evening of "suicide headaches." Over the last year, we've charted the cluster cycles and a normal one lasts around thirty days, stops for about four weeks, then pops up again unwelcome after the three week break has come to an end. They're rare, complicated, stubborn little things, but since my three minutes in the business center is ticking away, a description of what the heck a cluster is anyway will have to come later. Google, yo.

So much about my life right now is rather unstable and inconsistent except, however, my God. Knowing you guys are praying for me and my family means more than I could even begin to describe, especially during the thirty seconds I have to end this post. (Hang on, Nick!)

These times are my in between days: praying for relief from the pain and hoping for answers; but it comes down to this: "the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us.... But even if He doesn't, we want to make it clear to you" that we will praise Him despite it all.

"But it's the time in between

that I fall down to my knees,

waiting on what You'll bring

and the things that I can't see.

I know my song's incomplete,

still I'll sing

in the time in between." - Francesca Battestelli

I love you all so, so much.

so say it somehow

If you’re reading this, you probably know bits of my story already. I started this blog for several reasons, but mostly because I am humbled and completely overwhelmed by those who have prayed over my family, kept up with us, and served in absolutely selfless ways since my health collapsed a few years ago.

Avoiding the general subject of my “health issues” has been my primary means of coping through the hard times, but this method has proven itself the easy way out. At the same time, I’m learning that pretending to be fine all the time can be just as damaging as whining or falling apart in public. In the course of the last few months, it’s been brought to my attention how many people are masquerading heavy hurts behind a smiling face. Their stories need to be told.

So many are physically sick and struggling and heartbreakingly lonely in their current trials. Knowing pain and talking to those who have experienced the worst of tragedies, I’ve found after many conversations that all who have suffered at some point consider “I understand” and "This too shall past" (though well-meaning) as some of the worst sentences ever uttered. We can never truly know what someone else has known. But one purpose for this blog, which has been set on my heart so heavily, is to prove we’re not alone. Those with physical illnesses, etc., know what it’s like to be isolated and judged, defined by their physical condition alone, and constantly written off as worthless, useless, despite knowing wholeheartedly they’re not. This is our battle, and we're going to win; however, I can't sit still knowing what lies are being told to those who face pain. If these simple sentences deflect one of Satan's, wasted they're not.

I’m just a high school student from the suburbs aching and restless to serve my God. What, if anything, will come of this little corner of the Internet? Time will tell as I gather the words, and so say it somehow.