boar-d? dis-grunt-led?

My family has futiley resisted cracking pig jokes since the media went berserk and began spamming the airwaves with news of the swine flu epidemic at the beginning of the summer. After so many (sooo many) puns, I knew someone in our family was bound to come down with the illness. (But trust me, it was almost worth it.) Right now, it appears three of us have been hit.

What causes swine flu?

Just kidding.

By the way, the Nanny Diaries should be back soon (hopefully tomorrow as previously scheduled); as of right now, this flu makes it hard to bring home the bacon.

(... I apologize. That last one was just bad.)

and i'll... follow You into the world

I’ve been stuck on The Message lately. The words jump off the page and slap me every time I read from the translation. And I love it. Spiritual bruising CAN be good, y’all.

This morning, the verses below clicked. I’ve claimed them as my back-to-school Scripps because they managed to be altogether convicting and inspiring and relevant (like, you know, most Scripture), and I really wanted you guys to see them, too.

I should probably let the Word speak for itself without any more of my babbling commentary, but do lock-in on this: “Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives.” Now, here we go:

"It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.

“This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God's kingdom.

“But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

“Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.

“Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.”

- Galatians 5:19-26

So you’ve seen the words. Read them in the original language. Heard them eleven billion times. Spoke them. Got them down.

A Franciscan saying goes like this, "Preach the Gospel. And when necessary, use words."

Time to live them?

I'm praying this for all of us. It's not easy AT ALL, but it's SO worth it. I love you guys!

"So let YOUR NAME be lifted higher, be lifted higher, be lifted higher...."

ba da ba ba ba

Thank you, Jeremy Martin. Your story made my yesterday.

“Yes, this is a life-and-death situation,” Martin said. “I am getting ready to die because these guys are taking my money. We’re not playing around, here! Can you send a cop out here? Is this normal that you just take calls and not send a cop?”

Poor Jeremy got into quite a pickle when his McDonalds didn't cut the mustard...

...I believe this story proves that not receiving the correct amount of cash back will change your life...

Okay, I'm out of puns.

six seven eight, triple nine, eight two one two

I placed my textbook on the table and curled up into the booth in the far back corner. A skinny, middle-aged man slouched over an oversized black briefcase one table over. Out of the corner of my eye, I observed him as he stared at the floor, talking into his cell, cheeks growing a brighter shade of pink every few seconds. “Baby, no. I can’t do that... What? Baby, there are people around! ....No, don’t do that. ...Okay.”

I glanced over as he began pounding out the beat with his empty coffee cup and started whispering the lyrics, "Girl, you know I miss you / I just wanna kiss you / But I can’t right now so, Baby, kiss me through the phone / I’ll see you later on / Kiss me through the phone / See you when I get home.”

Please note I’m not a Soulja Boy fan in the least, but never have I regretted not having a video camera as much as in that moment. When he cleared his throat, straightened his tie, and in the most dignified manner started on verse two (“You my future wifey... Yeah, you could be my Bonnie; I could be yo’ Clyde”), I had to bite my tongue and walk outside to keep from laughing out loud. Priceless.